I'm Not You

Years ago I used to listen to a song titled "I'm not Lisa." For years I have struggled trying to find my place as it were. As a teen it was popular to have the stylish clothes, the most popularity etc. The list goes on and I'm sure most everyone can relate. At the age of 16, I ran away from home trying to find who I was, what I wanted. I didn't like a lot of the music of the day, nor did I like drugs or drinking. But it was the popular thing to do so I listened to the music, went to all the cool hangouts , and became a little edgy with  any kind of authority. Before long I ran away from the family I was living with, again in search of  someone other than who I was.

I wound up living with my father and I wasn't happy there either. Him and his wife made it clear that I would listen their authority or I wouldn't live there. It wasn't long before I didn't fit in there either. At the age of 17 I met and married my husband. Finally someone I could fit in with. But I still tried to be like someone else the first months of our marriage. I tried to be all the people I thought would please him instead of being me. Not long later I joined a church and bought into the whole concept of changing to be like everyone else. I didn't get to make too many decisions on my own, I acted and looked just like everyone else. Of course all the girls wanted to look like the popular ones and I fit right in. From the way I dressed to the way I raised my son.

Years later I left the church, but the idea of being someone else still haunted me. I went from church, to church, and even stayed home looking for where I fit in. When I joined a new church I tried to dress like them so I wouldn't be noticed. I have changed my hair, bought into new fashions, changed everything about me just to be accepted. I finally decided I'm not you, I'm me. I'm becoming who God wants me to be. I am complete in Him.