Where Do I go From Here?

For over a year now I have been battling stomach issues. The doctors can't find a cause so they labeled it IBS. It's not supposed to be a big deal, but there are days I am just so weak I can hardly walk. I'm still hoping for a miracle. It isn't life threatening,but I would love to have enough energy to do what needs to be done. Last month I was truly blessed and I was able to attend 2 church camps with 2 different age groups of kids. Most of the time I felt better than I had in the past year. It was awesome. It not only touched the lives of the children, but mine as well.
 One day as I was praying,I told God I would love to preach. Now where that came from I don't know because I was brought up that women don't preach.
Maybe it's not so much a preacher,but a teacher. I don't know where this is headed yet. So I kinda put it on a back burner and chided myself for being so silly. Last night a young lady about the age of 11 came up to me and asked when I was going to start preaching. It was a young people's preaching night and a small crowd in attendance to hear about 4 young people from the age of 12 to the age of about 27. There were approximately 9 or 10 adults in attendance with only 1 being certified to preach. My first response was that I was too old. Of course 50 isn't really that old. So I don't know really where my life is headed,but I stand amazed that she would ask me such a question. Whatever it is God wants me to do, I need direction. I know he will give me strength when the time comes.

Captain Of The Vessel

I recently took a plane trip and suddenly came to the realization that I put my life in the hands of a total stranger. I didn't try to figure out how to fly the plane, I didn't look for the nearest exit door, I just read my kindle and played games.I just left the captain to do what captains do best,control the vessel. I want to be the same with God... He knows every fiber of my being. I trusted a stranger with my life, how much more should I trust the one who knows me better than anyone? The captain has appointed stewards and stewardesses to lead me and help me while he pilots the vessel. God has appointed leaders in my life to give me directions in much the same way, as the captain and the stewards /stewardesses. Sometimes when things go wrong, I tend to doubt God and or the leadership. But I didn't do any of this on the plane.I would have looked pretty silly. I wonder if God just  watches patiently and waits for me to come to my senses. I couldn't tell where we were on the plane, I didn't have communication with anyone I knew,I just had to trust. There was no one to validate the pilot was going to do the right thing, there was no one there to put an arm around me and comfort me in the moments I was scared,but yet I had faith that we were going to get to our planned destination. God has multiple witnesses, I have a a lot of friends and leaders that will put an arm around me when I'm afraid,I have so much reason to trust God. Now I just need to enjoy the ride and thank Him that He is going to get me to my destination just fine.

What Affect Are You

What affect do you have... I was talking with my husband this morning about consequences. I don't believe in Karma ,but I do believe in consequences. For instance if we fail to pay our bills , the end result is no home ,car etc. If we don't keep a friends secret, we can't expect others to keep ours. So My thoughts today are on this.. what kind of affect are you, /am I? Do I cause others pain or joy? What kind of affect do the actions I take, have on a another persons  life. I believe we are all in some way intricately woven with one another. I think people are in our lives for a reason. If no one ever paid a price for doing wrong , they would continue to do wrong . By the same token if no one ever felt they received a reward for doing right.. would they continue? Some say doing good is it's own reward. Some say they don't care if they ever get rewarded. Maybe I'm a bit selfish then, Because I hope to live in Heaven with God one day.

Not that have attained any worthwhile goals,but to think that God would say "Well Done", Or He is pleased... Ohh yes that would bring me joy. Sometimes the affect I have on others isn't so great when I'm frustrated or not feeling well. Think of the ocean, it is so intricately woven that even the moon has an effect on it. All of earth is like that. The rain and the sun affect the plants. Adams sin had an effect on all of us. Gods sacrifice also had an effect on all of us. What kind of affect are you and I making on the lives of those close to our hearts? Sometimes I think  I'm not affecting anyone anywhere, but silence doesn't mean I'm not making an effect. Today I hope I have made a positive effect on someones life. In the picture above the water doesn't fall without making a splash,, it affects the water below. We dont live and die to ourselves. Someone is affected by the things we say and do. May it be to bring someone to Jesus who knows our hearts more than we know it ourselves.

Stray Dogs

The other Day I was thinking about homeless people, lost people, people who need Jesus. I asked God to let me see through a different set of eyes. I compared these people to stray dogs.When I see a stray dog, I want to love it, feed it, nurture it.. and even find it a home. So I began to look at lost souls like stray dogs. They need a savior, a rescuer. Some of us have become fatherless and felt like orphans. Maybe others abandoned and felt like that stray dog. God wraps His arms around us and reminds us in different ways, that we aren't orphaned or abandoned. We aren't fatherless. Just like a dog being rescued never forgets his owner, so let me be ever thankful for Jesus rescuing me. 

A Strong Woman

                A strong Woman
A strong woman spends time on her knees. A strong woman sheds tears nobody sees. A strong woman often falls apart and people see that as a  weakness. A strong woman has many flaws, but she gets back up and keeps going, that's what makes her strong. When people see her in public or on Facebook, for the most part all they see is the good side of things.
They don't see the rejection from her family no matter how much she gives. They don't see the hours she spends fighting just to stay alive. They don't see the good she does for others when no is around... but God sees. He sees her tears and bottles them up. He carries her broken body across the hot desert sand. He caresses her face with moonlit nights. He whispers in her ear, I am here. He sends her flowers in the spring,and sunsets aglow in the evening. 
A strong woman never gives up hope, never gives up fighting for all her dreams. She tries to find good in everything and everyone,but sometimes her eyesight grows dim, her soul becomes weary. For a moment she isn't strong, she is weak and vulnerable and let's the world see that she is not invincible. That's when she thinks her friends have let her down,but she keeps coming back, even to the ones who she thinks are letting her down. That's what makes her strong. 
On the outside she is crying. All the world sees are the tears. All they see is heap of trash. But God, ohh he sees something more. He sees a wound that needs tending, a heart that needs mending. He sees a strong woman inside. 

Wizard of Oz

The Wizard of Oz is one of my favorite movies. While in prayer this morning I began to think about it. Dorothy was searching for something. She made many friends along the way who journeyed with her on her search. May things and people tried to stop them on their journey. They had a lot of fun along the way and also faced a lot of hardships. This kind of reminded me of my walk with the Lord. In my quest for him, I have made many friends who are also seeking the Great And Powerful One" As like Dorothy and her friends we are seeking a way home. Many things try to stop us. Fear, doubt, roadblocks, nightmares. The flying monkeys, the witch, the talking trees in the dark forest. All of these were nightmares for Dorothy and her friends.

The lion wanted courage.. God told Joshua to be strong and of good courage. The scarecrow wanted a brain,God gave Solomon wisdom.The tin man wanted a heart, The Bible says Love one another as Christ has also loved us. What an amazing parallel this story is in our walk with God. While I don't believe in Fairies ,I do believe in angels. But the ending of this story for us who are believers will be very different. When we finally get to the great and Powerful One,He will be real, not just a fake. 

Clumsy Hands

With my clumsy hands I spilled the paint. With my clumsy hands I made a knot, instead of untangling my delicate necklace. With my clumsy hands I poured the drink on someones food, instead of in their cup. My hands are clumsy and feeble at times, I make a mess when I try to clean things up. But I am so glad we have a God who has steady hands. His hands never grow tired, they are never weak. They never make clumsy mistakes by pouring blessings onto the wrong people. My hands may be clumsy, much of the time, but our Father doesn't have hands like mine.

Friends?

As I was searching for a picture to take today, I came across this , and then the scripture that followed. Sometimes I read things and go on and say that was good. But this has me Awestruck. Have you ever stopped to think that the God of heaven calls you,a friend? I can't say I could ever willingly lay down my life for my friends. I love them, but I just don't know that I am that courageous. I am trying to wrap my mind around why anyone would want me for a friend without wanting anything but love in return. But I know of no other we can go to with everything, any time night or day. What a beautiful sacrifice, to humble himself and call us friends, when He could have exalted himself and made us pay our own punishment.

Weary In the fight

Today I am weary in the fight,but some of the darkness was brought to light. I cried many tears,but the Lord calms my fears. I am a mighty warrior, a conqueror through God,though my armor is heavy,  but onward I must trod. My body feels worn, my steps seem so feeble,but God promised never to leave His people. I'm bought with a price,who could ever repay a gift so nice. I will give him my best, though it seems so small,but in the hands of  God, it  is worth it all.

Only For A moment

What is this life compared to eternity. It is a vapor, a raindrop, a puff of smoke. When going through trials it feels like forever,but when you look back you realize how quickly this life has gone. At 17, I thought my mom who was in her 30s was old. Now at almost 50 I think of how young she really was. I am reminded every day, this life is only a season. In reality , I am only here for a moment. The sun rises and the sun sets and it seems there are only moments in between. There are moments I wish would last forever, and there are moments I wish I was already in eternity with God. Everything in this life is only for a moment. Even pain and heartache compared to eternity are only for a moment. 

Loveprints on my heart

One day the Savior called my name and left a loveprint on my heart. He surrounded me with grace and left a loveprint on my heart. He sent me a sparrows song and left a loveprint on my heart. He sent me a sunrise so spectacular it took my breath away and left a loveprint on my heart. He gave me an animal to love and be loved in return and left a love print on my heart.He surrounded me with friends and left a love print on my heart. He gave me a marriage and left a love print on my heart. He gave me His promises that will never be broken and left a love print on my heart. When I am broken and falling apart,all I need do is look at the loveprints on my heart.

I Hurt

Hurt seems to be commonplace these days. We hurt physically, we hurt emotionally. We long for something, someone to satisfy the brokenness in us. When Jesus found out the Lazarus was dead,I can imagine Him thinking "I hurt." When He prayed in the garden,when He hung on the cross. He must have said I hurt. Today I cried out to Jesus and simply said "Father I hurt." But lately I have been reading and hearing how Joy comes in the morning.I don't know when the morning will be here,but for those of us who are watching for it ,we  know it will come. Jesus knew the sting of pain all too well,just as we know. Today I hurt,over the loss of a loved one. Over a lost pet, over a friend that is going through sickness. Over my own illnesses. But I bring them to the feet of Jesus knowing that hurt is only temporary and Joy will come in the morning.

Calloused Hands

He was a carpenter by trade, a hard working man.The sun was hot the air was dusty , water wasn't cold as ice to drown the unquenchable thirst. I imagine Jesus had many callouses on His hands. His hands hugged the faces of his earthly mother and father, his hands healed the blind man. I imagine He may have even had blisters a time or two. I look at my hands and see them rough and looking old , but these hands, have done some work even hammered a nail a few times. His hands bled,for those that shed innocent blood. Calloused hands are from hard working hands, the hands that have loved, the hands that dried the tears, or held a loved one close.Calloused hands have seen some days, the stories they could tell could be a book. Calloused hands are strong hands ,but loving hands. 

Wounder or Healer

Proverbs 15:4 Gentle words are a tree of life;A deceitful tongue crushes the spirit. 

So often people wait until life is over to say kind words. I might be considered a kook,but I want to be the kind of person who can tell people how much they mean to me now. Every day we see how short life really is, but I wonder do some people think about it only when someone dies? Today I want my words to heal. I can't number the days I have been so broken, that a kind word or deed may have been what kept me going. People don't always tell you when they are broken or crushed,some people hide it so well. I'd like to put out a challenge to anyone who may read this today.Will you be a wounder or a healer?  Tell someone other than your family just how much they mean to you, or say a kind word to them. Family is important and I love them all, but I tell my family how much I love them all the time. There may someone out there who needs to hear those kind words from a friend or even a stranger.Weigh your words carefully, you may be the only sunshine in someone's dark valley.

What are you fishing for?

Are you fishing for a husband , a wife , money? Today I realized so much of the time , I am fishing for compliments. The praises of men rather than the praises of God. Not that I wanted to be exalted, but rather liked. Then when I am noticed I think I would rather be un-noticed. It is a delicate balance and I'm working on being content with knowing that I'm doing the Masters work.I love to be with people and do things for them, but I love it even more when I keep quiet and let God receive the glory that He's due. I want to be a fisher of men rather than a fisher of the spotlight. Today I'm fishing for a closer walk with God, a peace in the midst of the storm. When I am obedient rather than showy, the joy that  floods my soul that is unspeakable.There are many in the Bible who were content just to be with Jesus and even suffer afflictions.This year,I have made a resolution to be a hidden vessel, but at times I find it a struggle. But God sees more than I ever can or will and so I am hoping that this may help someone else who may be going through a similar situation. I'm fishing for peace and a closer walk with God.Im fishing for the praises of God rather than the praises of men. I have been fishing for health, money, praise.. all of this when you catch it, what good has it really done? I am reminded of King Solomon, he had everything a man could want, but it still wasn't satisfying. What are you fishing for today? Only Jesus can satisfy our souls.  

Wait Here

I was just thinking this morning about how Jesus left the 99 sheep and went after the 1 that was lost. I imagine if a shepherd were talking to the sheep, he would have told them "wait here". Have you ever been somewhere and somebody told you to wait ,they were coming back? I was thinking about how impatient I get and how sometimes instead of waiting, I run off. I thought about the sheep, imagine if they had wandered off. The same is true of Jesus our shepherd. He has told us to wait here, He`s coming back. Some of us He comes for a little sooner than others,but in the meantime we still must wait. I remember reading about the prodigal son, he didn't want to wait and look at the mess he created. There have been times in the store , I was with somebody and I was supposed to wait here". Instead of waiting, I went looking for them, and by the time I got back to my original spot, neither of us was in the right place. But there is joy in waiting. We must wait for the rose to fully blossom to enjoy the beauty of it's entirety. We must wait for a birth in order to have a healthy child. We must wait for the right person to marry or our lives could become pretty disastrous.Sometimes children can hardly wait to grow up. The butterfly must "wait here" in certain stages of it's life And so we must "wait here" until the Lord returns for us.

seeing the unseen

We don't always see what's ahead or the final outcome. Sometimes we envision, sometimes we question. My mind was blank for a blog today, but as I was looking for something in the closet, this title came to me ... "Seeing the Unseen". I have been feeling sick all afternoon and I began to get uneasy and question why. Maybe it's just my body's way of saying slow down. I gave something away, then later I asked myself why.I think my heart says one thing , my brain follows and then instead of just surrendering , I analyze it to no end and try to change the unchangeable.Maybe someone's death was a heartache for us, but an opportunity for them.I had some tests done last year and the first one came out with a bad result so I had to have it redone. I chalked it up to a bad reading, but what if God moved on my behalf and I  didn't even see Him at work. I may never know the reasons to so many things, but if I look at everything... knowing there may be an unseen reason, but it all works for my good,even if it's unto death. 

Directions

Directions should be easy to follow,right? Or at least that's what I think in my mind. How hard can following directions be? But I get lost going from room to another. I call it directionally challenged. While on vacation last year we got lost and had to stop and ask for directions. Nowadays we depend on our electronic devices for directions, well I decided a map was better because there are a lot of places with no signal. The map wasn't up to date , and it got confusing. We ended up taking the long way around more than once, but the scenery was spectacular. God's word gives us clear directions, but like anything else I fail to take the time to figure it out and depend on people or my own self to get me there. Many times the scenery is beautiful when taking the long road, but it can also be very painful. 

I think of all the time wasted because we didn't have clear instructions.At one point the GPS had us headed to Japan. One day I was trying to put together a light kit with a friend of mine. The directions were only pictures and not very clear at that. We managed, but I sure couldn't have done  it alone. I need God's help every moment to find my way in this lost and troubled world. I need His direction and not necessarily the path that has been beaten out and looks so clear. Sometimes looking for direction means standing still and taking in our surroundings. Sometimes it means going through a dark valley with just a candle. Directions take you on a journey, but only if you follow them.